I am relentlessly trying to find a moment, a lyric, a quote, anything that will embody what I feel and who I've become. An excercise in futility, I don't know much anymore. Here's what I need to know...
Where do you go for serenity when everything you thought you knew becomes tainted? Who do you turn to when there's no one there to trust? What do you do when everything you thought was real turns out to be fantasy? Who do you become when your world gets turned inside out? How do you even begin to start all over again...
*"So many people are looking to me
to be strong and to fight
but I'm just surviving,
and I may be weak but I'm never defeated,
and I'll keep believing
in clouds with that sweet silver lining."*
Have you ever just screwed up? I decided to try being a different person lately. Mostly because I didn't have much of a choice, it was really sink or swim. Unfortunately I decided to jump in the pool head first and am reeling from the shock of the cold water. I don't know who I am anymore, I don't understand my feelings... I never thought that I'd be starting everything over again, never thought that I'd be facing the unknown. I never thought that I'd be struggling at the point in my life when I thought I had it all together. Maybe a little clarity is all I need. Maybe a break from me is what I could use... I've never been so broken, so alone. I just need to know who I am.
